Question: What sort of
people buy REALSHEEP?
REALSHEEP customers include futurists, artists,
art collectors, film-makers, scientists, health
professionals, housewives, animal rights
activists, Michael Jackson -- you name it. We
provide REALSHEEP to single men, couples seeking
to enhance their sex lives, hipsters looking for
exotic decorative art, Bill Gates, adult
retailers who want the ultimate display
mannequin, or anyone who desires to possess the
world's most realistic love doll (for whatever
reason).
Question: Can I have a
catalog and/or more information mailed to me?
We don't offer a print catalog. All public
information about REALSHEEP is available on this
site. The real reason we don't offer any
information in print is that we know you'll take
it into the bathroom and do unspeakable things
with it.
Question: When will you
offer a MALE REALSHEEP?
We already do, dumbass. Didn't you notice the big
dick hanging from the one on the first page of
this site?
Question: When will you offer a SHE-MALE
REALSHEEP?
We are seeing some interest in a
"SHE-MALE" REALSHEEP, but we're still
trying to determine if such a doll should be
equipped with male AND female sex organs. Let us
know what you think.
Question: What is the
price for a REALSHEEP?
The Standard REALSHEEP with 2 entries is $4,999.
The Deluxe 3-entry REALSHEEP is $5,249. Shipping
is $400 within the continental United States.
Complete information about ordering can be found
on our ORDERS page.
Question: I read somewhere that you offered a
less expensive latex doll. Where can I buy it?
Our latex dolls have been discontinued. They were
extremely difficult to fabricate and not nearly
as popular as our silicone dolls. We will not
resume fabricating latex dolls.
Question: Why do you charge so much for
REALSHEEP?
REALSHEEP would probably be cheap at twice the
price. REALSHEEP fabrication is labor-intensive
and the material cost is high. We've gone to
great lengths to make REALSHEEP affordable while
keeping the high quality, realistic
look-and-feel, and lifelike flexibility our
customers demand of the world's finest love doll.
Question: Do you offer a payment plan?
No. You pay before you play, pal.
Question: Where else can I buy REALSHEEP?
REALSHEEP is not sold in stores and is available
exclusively from this website. We are, however,
currently in negotiations with Michael Jackson
and Madonna for an infomercial.
Question: How are
REALSHEEP shipped?
REALSHEEP are shipped by standard freight in a
plain and secure shipping crate marked
"MUTTON" on the side which doubles as a
storage locker. The crate has a tamper-proof
latch with a combination lock. The crate is
approximately 5'x2'x2' and weighs about 350 lbs
when loaded. Inside the padded crate, the doll is
strapped into a padded seat.
Question: Can I customize
the look of my doll? Can you sculpt a custom head
or likeness from a photo?
REALSHEEP is a custom fabricated doll. You can
select from a wide variety of colors and options
on our ORDERS page. There are
certain colors and features we don't immediately
offer, and we can sometimes handle unusual color
requests, but we don't design and sculpt new
molds for single orders. We tried doing a custom
mold once and ended up with a two headed donkey.
Question: I can't really picture what I want
from the color selections. Can I supply a
photograph, instead of detailing all of her
colors and options, etc.?
Yes. We can approximate coloring and hair styles
from photos. Picky ass bastard.
Question: Does the
silicone flesh have a foul odor?
No. REALSHEEP's silicone flesh is very nearly
odorless. You can detect a very mild odor: a
pleasant and fruit-like fragrance.
Question: Does the silicone flesh have a foul
flavor?
No. REALSHEEP's flesh has no noticeable flavor.
Question: What if I don't
fit with RealSHEEP's sex parts?
REALSHEEP's vaginal and anal cavities are made
snug to accommodate any insertion. The silicone
flesh is soft, slippery, and very elastic. Any
petroleum or water-based lubricants can be
applied to ease entry. REALSHEEP's oral cavity
contains soft silicone tongue and teeth. The oral
cavity is as snug as the doll's other entries.
All of REALSHEEP's cavities allow deep
insertions.
Question: Tell me more about the doll's
entries
The Vaginal and Anal entries use a different
grade of silicone than the rest of REALSHEEP's
body. These areas are extremely soft and feel
very life-like. REALSHEEP's vaginal lips can be
stretched apart very realistically. REALSHEEP's
Oral entry has a very soft and stretchy lips,
ultra soft tongue, soft silicone teeth, and a
hinged jaw that opens and closes very
realistically.
Question: Tell me more about RealSHEEP's
"suction effect"
When penetrated, a vacuum is formed inside
REALSHEEP's entries which provides a powerful
suction effect. This effect is strongest in
REALSHEEP's oral entry. Some of REALSHEEP's users
have reported intense orgasms due to this
specific feature.
Question: Does the doll include any electronic
features which enhance the pleasure experience
such as a vibrating vagina?
REALSHEEP does not have electronic features such
as vibrators. There's a good reason for that:
vibrators are not lifelike. We believe vibrators
are used to enliven artificial-feeling vinyl love
dolls, but this is not needed with REALSHEEP.
However, if you enjoy the added stimulation,
REALSHEEP does work well with such devices. You
can use any sex toy imaginable with REALSHEEP,
and in a very realistic way. Her silicone flesh
transfers vibration well.
Question: Can her fingers close? Can she grip
you?
REALSHEEP doesn't have fingers you moron.
She has hooves.
Question: Can the dolls
stand upright, unsupported?
No. REALSHEEP's skeletal system is too flexible
and collapsible to allow her to stand upright.
The doll has the poise and relaxed state of a
sleeping lamb. Besides, when have you ever seen a
lamb standing upright? What a stupid question!
Question: Can she support herself enough to do
it "doggy" style?
Yes. How else would you do it to a lamb? You
idiot.
Question: Does the doll
come naked or clothed?
REALSHEEP are shipped clothed in a mini-dress,
bra, panties, and thigh-high stockings. Yes, it's
quite the visual, isn't it?
Question: I want to start shopping for my
doll's clothes now, before she arrives. Is this
advisable?
We recommend that you wait until your REALSHEEP
arrives and familiarize yourself with her body
before you purchase her new clothes.
Question: Are tan lines
or tattoos available?
No.
Question: Can you pierce her ears, nipples,
etc?
Yes. You can pierce REALSHEEP anywhere.
Question: What is used to paint the dolls?
Will it ever rub off?
REALSHEEP's silicone flesh is tinted, with your
choice of skin tone, when your doll is cast from
our molds. Details, such as lips, are painted
with tinted silicone. Once applied, the tinted
silicone actually becomes part of the doll's
skin. Under normal circumstances, it should never
rub off.
Question: Can I draw on the doll's flesh with
permanent ink markers?
Nothing sticks to silicone -- not even permanent
ink.
Question: Is REALSHEEP's hair glued on?
REALSHEEP's hair is realistically embedded, one
hair at a time, into her silicone flesh. The hair
on REALSHEEP's head is an artificial hair wig,
attached with Velcro.
Question: Can the doll's hair be styled
normally?
REALSHEEP's wig can be removed for styling,
cleaning, or full replacement with any commercial
wig. Just imagine, you could put an afro on your
REALSHEEP for a retro-70s orgy or something.
Question: Can I use cosmetics on REALSHEEP?
If you are planning to use cosmetics to change
the look of your REALSHEEP, we recommend that you
specify "natural" colors on your order.
Liquid eyeliner, dirt, grass and powdered
cosmetics (blushes, eye shadows, powder
foundations, etc.) work very well on REALSHEEP.
However, cream/oil-based makeup (such as liquid
foundation) won't disperse well on REALSHEEP's
non-stick silicone flesh. Eyebrow pencil and
lipstick can be applied with reasonable
effectiveness and these cosmetics can rub off
easily. Otherwise, REALSHEEP can be cleaned with
normal cosmetic removers.
Question: Tell me more
about the silicone rubber. What are its
properties? What should I be aware of? What if
I'm allergic to it?
The high grade of silicone we use for REALSHEEP
is also used by the movie special effects
industry for make-up effects and for animatronic
creatures. It has a high degree of flexibility
and resists tearing. The specific formulation
used by REALSHEEP contains a harmless oil
suspended between the molecules of silicone,
which gives her flesh a more realistic feel and
greater elasticity. Immediately after de-mold,
REALSHEEP's skin is slightly tacky because its
surface area sweats a very small amount of the
oil. This diminishes over time and we recommend
the use of baby powder to remove any tackiness.
You are much more likely to be allergic to the
baby powder than the silicone.
Question: What is the lifespan of silicone?
Will it crack? Do I need to worry about dry rot
or anything like that?
Silicone rubber does not dry rot like latex
rubber. Silicone rubber has the longest lifespan
of any of the RTV (Room Temperature Vulcanized)
rubbers or elastomers. Five year shelf tests show
less than 10% loss in properties. With proper
care, REALSHEEP should last many years. In
fact, it'll probably outlast you. Can
you imagine what your next of kin are going to
think after you die and they clean out your
personal effects and find this thing hidden
away? What a freak! That's what
they'll think. But then they'll probably
give in to temptation and have their way with
REALSHEEP as well.
Question: I want to bathe and shower with my
doll. Is there anything I need to be careful
about, like water temperature or duration?
Silicone rubber can withstand over 400 degrees of
heat. You can soak REALSHEEP in a scalding hot
bath to give it lifelike body heat. REALSHEEP's
silicone flesh retains heat very efficiently.
Question: Can water become trapped inside the
doll?
No. REALSHEEP's head and body are not hollow.
REALSHEEP is a SOLID love doll.
Question: Can I use my REALSHEEP as a pool
toy?
You can use REALSHEEP as a pool toy, but
prolonged exposure to sunlight and/or chlorine
may bleach the doll's pigmentation. And
we're not sure what the neighbors will think if
they see you swimming with a lamb in your
pool. They'll probably call animal control
or something, so we don't recommend it.
Question: Tell me more
about REALSHEEP's breasts.
We use a special formulation of silicone which
has a gelatinous consistency. This special
silicone gel is used inside REALSHEEP's breasts
to make them look, feel, and bounce like real
breasts. The silicone gel is cured silicone
rubber and is completely dry -- not a liquid.
REALSHEEP's breasts cannot leak.
Question: Can you pull on her nipples hard
without fear of tearing them?
Yes, within reason. REALSHEEP's nipples can
withstand approximately 400% elongation before
tearing.
Question: How hard are the doll's nipples?
Will they show through clothes?
REALSHEEP's nipples feel very much like real,
erect nipples. They show through clothes.
Question: Can you press her breasts together
to form deep cleavage?
REALSHEEP's breasts are extremely elastic and
pliant. But we're talking about sheep here, you
moron. Sheep don't have cleavage!
Question: Do you offer custom breast sizes?
No. REALSHEEP's breasts are not separately
attached; they are a seamless part of the entire
torso. In the future we may offer body types that
feature different breasts.
Question: How flexible is
the REALSHEEP?
REALSHEEP's silicone skin is extremely flexible
and will sustain almost any reasonable
position. There are some positions which are more
stressful on both the silicone flesh and the
internal joints. REALSHEEP cannot be
"twisted into a pretzel," compressed
into a tight fetal position, or squeezed into a
small storage area.
Question: How strong are the doll's joints?
REALSHEEP's joints are made from steel. They're
very strong. And Bill Gates
reportedly set off an airport metal detector with
his once.
Question: What is the range of the doll's
joints?
REALSHEEP's joints have a very good range of
movement -- about 180 degrees or more, in most
cases.
Question: How much weight can the doll
support?
REALSHEEP can safely support over 600 lbs. Rumor
has it that Chris Farley was
doing it to his REALSHEEP when his heart ran amok
from all the excitement.
Question: Are there any
known health risks? How clean are they and how
difficult is it to keep them in a sanitary
condition?
There are no known health risks other than
Anthrax associated with REALSHEEP. Each REALSHEEP
receives a thorough acetone bath after
fabrication. Keeping the doll in a sanitary
condition is easy. REALSHEEP can be cleaned with
a mild soap or detergent. Every REALSHEEP comes
with a cleaning kit and easy-to-follow
instructions for care and use.
Question: What happens
when "the honeymoon is over" and I feel
that the doll is not for me and wish to return
it?
Although we'd like to fully satisfy all our
customers, our firm policy is: ALL SALES ARE
FINAL.
Question: Does she come with a warranty? What
happens if she breaks?
REALSHEEP is very sturdy, but not meant to
sustain extremely violent abuse (pay attention,
O.J.!) Due to the nature of the product, we
cannot accept returns. However, we stand behind
our product and do whatever we can to satisfy our
customers. In the unlikely event of a tear in the
silicone flesh, you can easily repair the damage
yourself with commercial grade silicone caulking,
found at your local hardware store. Step by step
instructions for such repair are included with
your doll.
Question: Can I change my mind and cancel
after I place an order?
Fabricating each REALSHEEP is an investment of
costly material and time. You cannot cancel your
order after your doll's fabrication has
commenced.
Question: Do you offer
electronic or animatronic versions of REALSHEEP?
Not at this time, but we hope to offer such dolls
in the future.
Question: Do you sell
just the head or torso, or any other body part,
as separate items?
No. What are you, Jeffrey Dahmer?
Question: I'm a crossdresser interested in a
full body silicone female skin. Can I buy a
REALSHEEP skin or can you tell me where I can get
a silicone female body suit?
We don't offer silicone body suits and REALSHEEP
does not have a separate skin. We're not going
for a "Silence of the Lambs" thing
here, ladies and gentlemen! REALSHEEP is a solid
silicone doll. To our knowledge, no company
offers a silicone body suit. A silicone suit
would require a sophisticated cooling system
(silicone retains heat and does not breathe), and
be custom-fitted to your body from a life-cast.
We don't offer such services and we don't know
anyone who does. Besides, if you want to dress
around like a slutty sheep, you've got bigger
problems than crossdressing, pal.
Question: Do you have any rejects or used
models I can buy for cheap?
No. We did at one time but Woody
Allen bought them all.
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